How To Stop Being A People Pleaser: The Ultimate Guide For Ambitious Entrepreneurs And Leaders
We all know that person. The one who always puts everyone else's needs above their own. They're the ones who are always saying "yes" when they want to say "no." And they never seem to get what they want because they're too busy catering to everyone else. If this sounds like you, then you're a people-pleaser. And while there are some benefits to being a people-pleaser (like being seen as friendly and helpful), it can also be damaging in the long run.
So, how do you stop being a people-pleaser?
People-pleasing is not an inherently bad thing. It's the tendency to put others' needs before your own, often at the expense of your happiness and well-being. People-pleasers are often driven by a deep fear of rejection and a need for approval. People-pleasers consistently bend over backward for others, even sacrificing their needs and desires. However, it can become problematic when it leads to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self-respect. If you find yourself regularly putting others' needs before your own, it's important to take some time to assess your motivations and set some boundaries.
Here are five signs that you may be a people-pleaser:
You say "yes" to everything.
Do you find yourself saying "yes" to every request, no matter how big or small? If so, then you may be a people-pleaser. People-pleasers often have difficulty saying "no" because they don't want to disappoint others.
You put others before yourself.
You know you're a people-pleaser when you constantly put others before yourself. Whether volunteering for extra work assignments or going out of your way to help a friend, you always put other people's needs before yours. It's not that you don't care about yourself, but you have this innate need to make everyone else happy.
You're always worried about what others think of you.
Do you constantly worry about what others think of you? If so, then you may be a people-pleaser. People-pleasers are always concerned with their image and want to ensure that they impress others.
You're afraid of conflict.
If you're a people-pleaser, you're probably afraid of conflict. That's because people-pleasers tend to avoid any situation that might lead to an argument or a disagreement. Instead, they prefer to keep the peace by agreeing with everyone and doing whatever they can to keep everyone happy.
You feel like you're never good enough.
As a people-pleaser, you're never quite sure if you're doing enough. You Constantly second-guess yourself and wonder if you could have done more. People-pleasing can leave you feeling anxious and exhausted. It can be challenging when you're juggling multiple demands on your time. You might feel like you're always running behind and will never catch up.
If you're ready to break free from the people-pleasing habit, here are five next-level strategies that can help:
Get clear on your values.
What is important to you? What do you stand for? Once you know what you value, it will be easier to start making choices that align with your values. This doesn't mean you have to start saying "no" to everything - but it does mean being more selective about how you spend your time and energy. If unsure where to start, try saying "no" to one small request daily. Over time, you'll build up the confidence and skill set needed to make choices that align with your values.
Define what healthy relationships look like for you.
Understanding what healthy relationships look like for you means taking an inventory of your current relationships and identifying which ones are supportive and which are toxic. Once you've done that, it's time to start setting boundaries with the people in your life. Communicate your needs clearly and concisely. And finally, it means being okay with being alone sometimes. Remember, you don't need anyone's approval to live a happy and fulfilling life. So go out there and start living on your terms!
Set boundaries with other people.
When it comes to setting boundaries with other people, it's often easier said than done. We all have a natural tendency to want to please others, leading you to say "yes" to things we don't want to do. However, if you don't learn to set healthy boundaries, you can quickly feel resentful and taken advantage of.
Related article: How to set boundaries like a CEO & Thrive
Practice self-care.
Practice self-care means taking time out for ourselves, recharging our batteries, and doing things that make us happy and fulfilled. It might mean taking a yoga class, going for a walk in nature, or simply taking some time to relax with a good book. When we prioritize self-care, we are more likely to be happy, healthy, and productive. So let's break free from the people-pleasing habit and start putting ourselves first!
Find a supportive community.
One of the best ways to break free from the people-pleasing habit is to find a supportive community. This could be a group of friends, a church group, or a support group for people who struggle with similar issues. When we surround ourselves with people who support and encourage us, we are more likely to stick to our goals and maintain healthy relationships. So if you're looking for a way to break free from the people-pleasing habit, start by finding a supportive community.
Conclusion:
It might be time for a change if you're a people pleaser. These five next-level strategies can help you start saying no and putting yourself first. And when you do, you'll find that your relationships with others improve not only are you happier but also improve. Ready to get started? Let us know how it goes! Download our free Resilience Toolkit, which will give you the tools and resources you need to finally break free from the chains of people pleasing.
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